The "SCOOP" on Gossip

Have you ever played the game Telephone? You sit in a circle with a group of people and one person whispers a phrase to the person next to him or her. Then, each person keeps whispering the phrase around the circle until it reaches the last person, who repeats the whispered statement out loud. What started out as "Pizza tastes great" can end up as "Pete's a great ape!"

It's funny to laugh at how twisted the sentence became as it got passed around. Gossip can work the same way, but it's not so funny. In fact, it can be very hurtful. Have you ever gossiped or been gossiped about?

Talk Versus Gossip

Talking is how you spread your thoughts, ideas, and experiences to people around you. It's not always wrong to talk about other people. There's nothing wrong with telling your friends, "I like hanging out with John Doe. He tells the funniest stories!" Those words don't hurt anyone.

But when you say cruel or tacky things, tell stories that you're not sure are true, or reveal information you know is supposed to remain private, you are spreading gossip. What if you saw John Doe go into the pastor's office and you started wondering what he was going in there for - did he ask to speak to the pastor, or did the pastor call him in? There's nothing wrong with wondering that, but what if you started telling other people wild things you dreamed up about John Doe talking to the pastor and they were just things off the top of your head? You really don't know why he was in the pastor's office, right? But before you know it, everyone is talking about how John Doe or his family are at outs with the pastor, or he's resigning his post as usher or whatever. Then next time everyone's at church, they're whispering around John Doe and people start to ask him what happened in the pastor's office.

John Doe might be a little angry or confused about all the questions, especially if it's a very personal family matter or spiritual matter or both.

That's how rumors work. They start small and often blow up into something different from the truth.

What If It's True?

Try to avoid talking about stuff that would embarrass another person. Before you blab, try this test: Ask yourself if you would want other people to know or say that kind of stuff about you.

Sometimes a friend will admit something to you and ask you not to tell anyone else. It can be hard not to share a secret, especially when it's something you really want to talk about with other friends. Maybe you don't even understand why the person wants you to keep the information a secret.

Sometimes, you may overhear something and your mind starts spinning. But remember that you might have heard just one side of the story.

Gossip Busters

"A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter." Proverbs 11:13

Some people are in denial that they are gossipers. They hear something and decide to share it with others (or you) and are in complete denial that they are actually "talebearing." A talebearer is one who "collects" gossip and also one who "spreads" it. If one "hears" something - that doesn't give license to "repeat" it to someone else. Even if they think they are doing some good by telling what they know, NOTHING good ever comes from gossip.

Individuals will gossip for various reasons (although there is no good excuse for talebearing), they will gossip because they're jealous, they're resentful, they may have pinned up feelings toward someone and rather than going to that person, will run their mouth, make false accusations and say things they have no knowledge about or authority to speak on. If you are entertaining friends who do this, be advised...If someone gossips with you, he or she is likely to gossip about you also!

The best way to avoid being a part of the gossip mill is to STEER CLEAR of those who gossip. If you happen to hear a rumor, don't repeat it - and don't listen to it, either. And when someone trusts you with a personal secret, keep it to yourself.

If you're the victim of gossip, you might as well know that this happens to a lot of people. Rather than stooping to their level, counsel with your pastor. The devil might be working on those who are gossiping about you...they may be letting the devil ride, but don't allow yourself to get on that same level and dish it back out. Remember: two wrongs do not make a right.

My best advice is to surround yourself with people who would rather live their own private lives and worry about keeping themselves straight rather than talk about someone else or some gossip they've heard! I don't care to hear any negative talk or gossip that someone has said about me...I don't care to have people come tell me something they've heard that was said about me or anyone else for that matter. I consider the source. The devil preys on an idle mind. Don't become a part of a circle of gossipers. Don't sit in neutral waiting for this junk to come into your ear zone. Keep your mind focused on good things, honest things and do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

P.S. I just love blogging because I can preach if I want to - it's my blog! :-)

Time Flies

I did not realize I had not updated my blog since March 29th. The spring months of April and May were extremely busy for me at work (Overby Center at Ole Miss), but I suppose the main reason I haven't updated for many months is because of a near-fatal car accident I had on May 25th. Without rehashing all of the incident I'll just say that God is good and I am a walking miracle. Still struggling with some lingering injuries, I am quite fortunate to be alive to feel the pain, frankly. God is not finished with me yet. I am back in the saddle again, pushing forward to the fall semester with great anticipation.

It is a bitter-sweet time at the Jeter household this week. My 15-year-old son, Alex returns to high school as an entering freshman. He's so excited, ready to hit the books and play ball. He has worked out almost every night lately trying to crunch his abs and build up his pecks (so funny). Everything about him has changed. He's maturing, getting so tall (over 6ft) and his "interests" have changed, as is the case with most 15-year-old boys (*wink).

My daughter, Alana mentioned this afternoon that she just might walk Alex to his first class tomorrow. She was emotional just thinking about the fact that she will NOT return to the same school, but is beginning a new chapter in her own life as a COLLEGE freshman. We are quite proud of her as she was awarded an ACT scholarship and will enter as a psych major. She is experiencing what I define as "excited nervousness." With 15 hours of coursework and one of those online, she will attend classes and continue to work her part-time job this fall.

You know, parenting is considered one of the most important jobs in the world. And while it may be one of the most rewarding, it is not easy. Neither is letting go. These are landmark years for our children, one entering high school and the other off to college. I'm 40 and my husband will turn 45 in December (really landmark years for us in a way). It is during these times I like to just step back, take a deep breath and take it all in...try to enjoy these first moments or experiences with our kids.

I've been reminiscing in my mind of how I cried the day I left them at daycare for the first time, and how I cried their first day of public kindergarten. I have pictures of the first time Alex stepped on the school bus and waved back at me. My heart just skipped a beat at that moment...I couldn't believe my baby was off to public school. While that was 10 years ago, it seems like yesterday - and now I find myself experiencing similar feelings... just can't believe my not-so-little man is off to high school tomorrow and my little girl has become a young woman and will walk onto the same college campus her father and I attended many years ago to begin to find her way in this crazy world.

My how times flies when you're having fun!

Order My Steps Lord

"The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and he delighteth in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down, for the Lord upholdeth him with His hand. I have been young and am now old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken nor his seed begging bread. He is ever merciful and lendeth and his seed is blessed." Psalms 37: 23-26

"Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path." Psalms 199: 105

God's desire is to walk with us. He has ordered our path, watched our steps and kept us from danger. He wants communion and fellowship with us. When you are walking according to the will of God, He will direct your path and give you direction. God's way is always the right way. He knows where He is going. He knows the end from the beginning. The greatest thing you can have going for you in your Christian walk is to have God order your steps.

Before anybody can walk, they must first learn how to do something very important. They must learn how to stand. We are living in a generation of people who don't want to take a stand. Paul said in Ephesians 6: 10-18, to be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. He tells the Ephesians to put on the whole armour of God to withstand the evil day and take a stand.

The Word says to "pray always with all prayer and supplication in the spirit." The Lord orders the steps of a good man!

Psalms 37 paints a picture of the difference between a "good" man and an "evil man."

Evil man:

1) cut down like grass

2) wither like herbs

3) shall be cut off

4) plots against the just

5) kills

6) arms shall be broken

7) shall perish

8) borrows and does not pay back

9) seeds shall be cut off

10) seeks to slay the righteous

Good man:

1) trusts in the Lord

2) delights in the Lord

3) commits his ways to God

4) rests in the Lord

5) shall inherit the earth

6) they shall be satisfied even in famine

7) has an eternal inheritance

8) has his steps ordered by the Lord

9) he shall not be cast down even when he falls

10) is upheld by the hand of the Lord

11) never forsaken or begging bread

12) shall be exalted

God will delight in us if we commit ourselves to Him. Take a stand! Let God order your steps. Watch Him do some stuff that will amaze you.

Order My Steps in your word dear Lord, lead me, guide me everyday. Send your anointing, Father I pray. Order my steps in your Word. Please order my steps in your Word.

One Step at a Time

The Lord said to Abram, Go for yourself [for your own advantage] away from your country, from your relatives and your father’s house, to the land that I will show you. — Genesis 12:1

When King Jehoshaphat needed to hear from God, Abram learned to trust God to lead him one step at a time. His story begins in Genesis 12:1. It is here that God gave Abram step one - not step two. He basically told him that he would not get step two until he had accomplished step one. This is so simple, but so profound and really insightful about how God speaks to us. He gives us direction "one step at a time."

Many people refuse to take step one until they think they understand steps two, three, four, and five. We should be inspired to go forward in God’s plan for our life by trusting Him with the first step. After the first few steps, faith will grow because we should then realize there is always a sure foundation beneath each step God instructs us to take.

God asked Abram to take a difficult step by leaving everything and everyone familiar to him. But, God promised him that taking such a step would be to his advantage.

When we obey God we are blessed. God has a good plan for each of our lives, a plan that is to our advantage. All we have to do is walk in it— "one step at a time."

Obey God’s voice one step at a time.

On the Lord's Side

When a man's ways please the LORD, he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him. (Proverbs 16.7)

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Abraham Lincoln was once asked by a member of a certain church who was making a plea for a certain cause and closed his remarks with the hope "that the Lord is on our side." President Lincoln then responded by commenting, "Sir, I am not at all concerned about that, for we know that the Lord is always on the side of right. But it is my constant anxiety and prayer that I and this nation should choose to be on the Lord's side."

Today we know the things that will make for peace, but will we do them? Blessed are the peace-makers for they are the children of God. Discipleship begins with such a choice. To be on the Lord's side is far more an important issue than trying to get the Lord to be on "our" side.

Frankly, I hate having enemies, and I certainly don't want to be one. After studying this verse it has become clear that we need to please the Lord...then he will cause peace to happen. We should strive to please him everyday in everything we do - big or small. Walk with Him. Stay tight with the Lord and He can sort out things with enemies. We know a proverb is a principle and not a promise—but it is a nice principle to have on your side!

Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139:23)

His Strength is Perfect

There are days when I feel that I do not have the energy to get out of bed to face the day. Somehow He gives me the energy and I breeze through the day.

There are days when I think I cannot handle one more bit of bad news. Somehow when it comes, He empowers me to handle it.

There are days when life is hard and the desire to continue fades. Somehow He sends relief and increases my desire to live.

There are days when I doubt His presence. Somehow He reveals Himself in the most surprising ways.

There are days when I feel like my labors for Him are in vain. Somehow He sends someone or something to assure me they are not in vain.

There are days when I cannot find a reason for joy. Somehow He fills my life with so much joy that I am overwhelmed by it.

There are days when words come slowly, and when they do finally come they sound foolish and empty. Somehow He takes those words and uses them for good.

There are days when I feel almost worthless. Somehow He reminds me of the price that has been paid for me.

There are days when I wish I could see the way more clearly. Somehow He opens my eyes and I see Him more clearly.

There are days when when I am weak. Somehow He makes me strong.

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. ... For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10, NIV).

Let Him be your strength everyday!

It's a New Season (Praise the Lord!) and it's coming to me!

My friend Delayna passed this on to me and I really needed it today. What a great song with a great message. It's a new season and it's coming my way. Sheryl Brady is the singer.

I've Got the Blues Today

I'm struggling today. I feel like I have a case of "the blues." Surely you've all been there at one time or another? I can't really pinpoint why I feel this way. There are some issues in my life that are bugging me somewhat, but I'm trying to deal with them and move on. I discovered some suggestions for overcoming days like today and some of these I've already conquered (thank goodness):

GET OUT OF BED: One of the most important things you can do is get up at about the same time every morning (even week-ends). Preferably, that means about 7 a.m. or earlier. You might not feel like it but Get Up. Such regularity helps your body function more normally so you're more likely to feel normal.

LIGHTS: Light helps your body function better. So turn on a lot of lights as soon as you arise. Open curtains to get more sunlight. Better yet, go outdoors into the sunshine as soon as you can. Remove any eyewear so light will enter more readily (glass cuts out some of the sun's rays). But don't stare at the sun, of course.

MOVE: Be active right away -- oxygenate! That means getting up and walking around your dwelling for five or 10 minutes, or perhaps riding an exercycle. Mild exercise gets the blood flowing and transports more oxygen throughout your body (especially to your brain), helping you feel mentally alert and alive.

MUSIC: Select and play some energetic, happy music as you dress and have your breakfast. The audiovisual department of most libraries has albums and tapes you can check out.

BREAKFAST: Begin your breakfast with protein (i.e., meat, eggs, peanut butter, nuts, cheese). When you get up, your body chemistry is ready to convert food, especially protein, into long-lasting energy. To balance your most important meal of the day, add an orange or other fresh fruit and whole grain cereal or whole grain bread.

TALK WITH SOMEONE: One of the quickest ways to beat the blues is to interact with others. You might not feel like doing that - you'd rather avoid people when blue. So make lt easier on yourself. Talk with someone you enjoy about a subject you enjoy so there is definite give and take.

And, force yourself to say "hello" to the persons next to you in class, those where you live, anyone around.

LIMIT CAFFEINE: The long-term (four hours or so) effects of caffeine are depression. Try to limit coffee to no more than one cup in the morning. Coffee can make you more alert for an hour or so, but later you get an opposite reaction. Caffeine tends to increase the release of insulin in the blood, and insulin lowers the blood sugar level. When you have low blood sugar levels, you begin to feel less sure of yourself, and have low energy levels, which can lead to the blues or depression.

LIMIT SUGAR: Sugar might give you an initial rush of energy, but within an hour or so the blood sugar level can become low, and when it's low you may feel low, too.

The caffeine/sugar cycle. It's easy to get caught in the caffeine and sugar cycle -- having coffee, caffeinated soft drinks, or something with sugar every two hours or so to "stay up." For example, cola contains about 10 teaspoons of sugar plus caffeine equal to about half a cup of coffee. In addition to bringing on the blues, this cycle can result in dependence, poor nutrition. and obesity -- reasons to get down on yourself even more and feel blue.

MAINTAIN FIBER: Fiber helps food go through your digestive system at a proper rate, giving a more constant energy supply. Highly processed foods merely provide a quick surge of energy which can be followed by depression. You can maintain fiber in your diet by eating an orange or grapefruit rather than just drinking the juice. Eat fresh vegetables, fresh fruits, and whole grain breads and cereals.

STRESS B COMPLEX: Some persons report receiving help by taking a concentrated vitamin B complex. You'll find these called something like "Stress B" or "B 50." This is controversial. Some nutritionists say, "Yes, this really should be considered," and others say, "No, this is not a good Idea." You can try some and decide whether or not it helps you. If it does help, then perhaps you should consult a nutritionist to see if there are other ways you can augment your diet.

ROUTINES: Changing your routines is another way to help shake the blues. Choose a different combination of clothes to wear, walk rather than drive, take a different route, eat at a different place. Do something different to help break the routine.

It's hard. Getting up in the morning, turning on the lights, eating a nutritious breakfast, keeping busy--keeping such a schedule is not always easy.

You might need help for the first few days, someone to help you form good habits, get you out of bed. turn on the lights, make sure you have a good breakfast, someone to help you be more active. One good way is to make a contract with a friend or friends who want to see you change. It might seem embarrassing, but those friends want to see you healthy and happy rather than depressed and difficult to be around. Note: If you feel that you need the help of someone for more than three or four days, you probably should make an appointment with a counselor or psychotherapist. You don't want to wear out your friends!

DEVELOP SUPPORTS: Good old-fashioned support works wonders. Most of us have not developed "support systems." We need to think about that idea ahead of time, if we have the tendency to feel blue, so that the supports can be available when needed. Plan ahead by filling out the last section of this publication and keep it handy. In addition to developing your own resources, you might know of some community support groups for persons with the blues. Call the local mental health center to see if there are some groups you might be a part of. Some places to call for leads at K-State will be listed at the end of this brochure.

What do you do when you feel yourself coming down with the blues? Recognize the change in yourself when you are "coming down" with an emotional slump. Don't deny it or feel guilty. Rather, take charge of yourself right away.

Perhaps taking a day off and doing some favorite things will restore you. Get more exercise: walk, garden, cycle, swim. You might not feel like it, but exercise is one of the best depression breakers and preventers.

PRETEND: Put a smile on your face and pretend that you are happy. Stand straight rather than falling into that slouching, depressed posture. Sound hokey? Well, it isn't. Research demonstrates that forming a facial expression actually changes how you feel inside. And pretending to feel an emotion results in actually feeling it. Frowners feel sadder. And the depressing effects last for hours. So smile: at yourself and others, even trees or dogs or cats. Sure, it's tough to smile when you're feeling blue. The extra effort you muster to do it will help you break the blues.

Wear bright, happy clothes and pretend you are happy. You will then find yourself happy. Maybe, even wear a goofy shirt or blouse or cap so you can see others smile with you. Dressing cheerfully and pretending can beat the blues.

SEEK OUT HUMOR: See a funny movie, read a humorous book, or listen to a comedy tape/CD. When you see a really funny cartoon, make a copy and save it. Consciously decide to use and employ these things when you find yourself coming down with the blues. Singing can help -- make yourself do it.

EXERCISE: It's worth stating again: Exercise is a great way to break depression. Walk, go to the Rec Center and ride an exercycle, swim, or climb stairs if it's too cold or hot outside.

Do not give in to those inner blues that say, "I don't feel like it." Doing almost anything constructive will be beneficial.

A Sound Mind

"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." (II Tim. 1:7, KJV)

The concept of a "sound mind" has more to do with our attitude than we may realize. If our mind is sound, it is not cluttered up with the cares of this world. Its processes start with God and end with God. It recognizes the power of God and His love for us. However, having and maintaining a sound mind requires constant work, a positive approach, and an acceptance of both the good and the bad. It needs continual stirring, like a simmering pot on the stove. We have to guard it and exercise it at all times.

When we have a sound mind we recognize that we are special to God, not from our own strength but because of the gift of the Holy Ghost. Even though we may be only one person and seem insignificant, we must have the kind of mind that takes charge of itself and moves forward, and not in "retreat" as many of God's people are doing today. Our God is a very positive God, one who looks forward to the future and the promises of having us as a key part of His creation.

One of my favorite bible scriptures is "To everything there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven." (Ecclesiastes 3:1) This scripture tells me that we all do not live in the same season - at the same time. With that being said, we should never be jealous of someone who is enjoying harvest while we are still in the planting season. Others have had to go through a season of planting just as I may be. Seeing the results they are enjoying should be an encouragement. We need to understand and trust that God is doing the very best for us in our "present" season.

We all hear of and talk about planting and "seed time." You see, seed time represents learning the will of God. Each time I choose God's will instead of my own, I'm planting a good seed that will eventually bring a harvest in my life. If I want to be victorious, I can't afford to get pulled into the world's system and doing what I feel like doing. James 1:21 says "...get rid of all uncleanness and the rampant outgrowth of wickedness, and in a humble (gentle, modest) spirit receive and welcome the Word which implanted and rooted [in your heart] contains the power to save your souls."

Our soul is our mind...it's our will and our emotions. When the Word gets rooted in there and begins to change our mind, it begins to heal our emotions and turns our will away from "self-will" onto doing the will of God. Living out of one's own soul is equivalent to staying in the wilderness. When my flesh is finally crucified and I get out of my soul (my self-will) and into doing the will of God, that's when I enter the promised land. The promised land is knowing who you are in Christ, knowing how to fellowship with Him, enjoying His presence, and having peace, contentment and joy.

Between seed time and harvest comes a time of waiting. After a seed is planted, the heat, moisture and pressure of the ground causes the outer layers or hull to crack open - then roots shoot down and dig their way through the ground. It takes time for all this to happen, and it all takes place "underground." Above the ground, you can't tell anything is happening. You see, that's the way our lives are. After we plant seeds of obedience, we feel like nothing is happening, but all kinds of things are happening inside that we can't see. And like the seed that finally bursts through the ground with that beautiful green shoot, our seeds of obedience finally break forth into a beautiful manifestation of God in our lives.