The "SCOOP" on Gossip

Have you ever played the game Telephone? You sit in a circle with a group of people and one person whispers a phrase to the person next to him or her. Then, each person keeps whispering the phrase around the circle until it reaches the last person, who repeats the whispered statement out loud. What started out as "Pizza tastes great" can end up as "Pete's a great ape!"

It's funny to laugh at how twisted the sentence became as it got passed around. Gossip can work the same way, but it's not so funny. In fact, it can be very hurtful. Have you ever gossiped or been gossiped about?

Talk Versus Gossip

Talking is how you spread your thoughts, ideas, and experiences to people around you. It's not always wrong to talk about other people. There's nothing wrong with telling your friends, "I like hanging out with John Doe. He tells the funniest stories!" Those words don't hurt anyone.

But when you say cruel or tacky things, tell stories that you're not sure are true, or reveal information you know is supposed to remain private, you are spreading gossip. What if you saw John Doe go into the pastor's office and you started wondering what he was going in there for - did he ask to speak to the pastor, or did the pastor call him in? There's nothing wrong with wondering that, but what if you started telling other people wild things you dreamed up about John Doe talking to the pastor and they were just things off the top of your head? You really don't know why he was in the pastor's office, right? But before you know it, everyone is talking about how John Doe or his family are at outs with the pastor, or he's resigning his post as usher or whatever. Then next time everyone's at church, they're whispering around John Doe and people start to ask him what happened in the pastor's office.

John Doe might be a little angry or confused about all the questions, especially if it's a very personal family matter or spiritual matter or both.

That's how rumors work. They start small and often blow up into something different from the truth.

What If It's True?

Try to avoid talking about stuff that would embarrass another person. Before you blab, try this test: Ask yourself if you would want other people to know or say that kind of stuff about you.

Sometimes a friend will admit something to you and ask you not to tell anyone else. It can be hard not to share a secret, especially when it's something you really want to talk about with other friends. Maybe you don't even understand why the person wants you to keep the information a secret.

Sometimes, you may overhear something and your mind starts spinning. But remember that you might have heard just one side of the story.

Gossip Busters

"A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter." Proverbs 11:13

Some people are in denial that they are gossipers. They hear something and decide to share it with others (or you) and are in complete denial that they are actually "talebearing." A talebearer is one who "collects" gossip and also one who "spreads" it. If one "hears" something - that doesn't give license to "repeat" it to someone else. Even if they think they are doing some good by telling what they know, NOTHING good ever comes from gossip.

Individuals will gossip for various reasons (although there is no good excuse for talebearing), they will gossip because they're jealous, they're resentful, they may have pinned up feelings toward someone and rather than going to that person, will run their mouth, make false accusations and say things they have no knowledge about or authority to speak on. If you are entertaining friends who do this, be advised...If someone gossips with you, he or she is likely to gossip about you also!

The best way to avoid being a part of the gossip mill is to STEER CLEAR of those who gossip. If you happen to hear a rumor, don't repeat it - and don't listen to it, either. And when someone trusts you with a personal secret, keep it to yourself.

If you're the victim of gossip, you might as well know that this happens to a lot of people. Rather than stooping to their level, counsel with your pastor. The devil might be working on those who are gossiping about you...they may be letting the devil ride, but don't allow yourself to get on that same level and dish it back out. Remember: two wrongs do not make a right.

My best advice is to surround yourself with people who would rather live their own private lives and worry about keeping themselves straight rather than talk about someone else or some gossip they've heard! I don't care to hear any negative talk or gossip that someone has said about me...I don't care to have people come tell me something they've heard that was said about me or anyone else for that matter. I consider the source. The devil preys on an idle mind. Don't become a part of a circle of gossipers. Don't sit in neutral waiting for this junk to come into your ear zone. Keep your mind focused on good things, honest things and do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

P.S. I just love blogging because I can preach if I want to - it's my blog! :-)

Time Flies

I did not realize I had not updated my blog since March 29th. The spring months of April and May were extremely busy for me at work (Overby Center at Ole Miss), but I suppose the main reason I haven't updated for many months is because of a near-fatal car accident I had on May 25th. Without rehashing all of the incident I'll just say that God is good and I am a walking miracle. Still struggling with some lingering injuries, I am quite fortunate to be alive to feel the pain, frankly. God is not finished with me yet. I am back in the saddle again, pushing forward to the fall semester with great anticipation.

It is a bitter-sweet time at the Jeter household this week. My 15-year-old son, Alex returns to high school as an entering freshman. He's so excited, ready to hit the books and play ball. He has worked out almost every night lately trying to crunch his abs and build up his pecks (so funny). Everything about him has changed. He's maturing, getting so tall (over 6ft) and his "interests" have changed, as is the case with most 15-year-old boys (*wink).

My daughter, Alana mentioned this afternoon that she just might walk Alex to his first class tomorrow. She was emotional just thinking about the fact that she will NOT return to the same school, but is beginning a new chapter in her own life as a COLLEGE freshman. We are quite proud of her as she was awarded an ACT scholarship and will enter as a psych major. She is experiencing what I define as "excited nervousness." With 15 hours of coursework and one of those online, she will attend classes and continue to work her part-time job this fall.

You know, parenting is considered one of the most important jobs in the world. And while it may be one of the most rewarding, it is not easy. Neither is letting go. These are landmark years for our children, one entering high school and the other off to college. I'm 40 and my husband will turn 45 in December (really landmark years for us in a way). It is during these times I like to just step back, take a deep breath and take it all in...try to enjoy these first moments or experiences with our kids.

I've been reminiscing in my mind of how I cried the day I left them at daycare for the first time, and how I cried their first day of public kindergarten. I have pictures of the first time Alex stepped on the school bus and waved back at me. My heart just skipped a beat at that moment...I couldn't believe my baby was off to public school. While that was 10 years ago, it seems like yesterday - and now I find myself experiencing similar feelings... just can't believe my not-so-little man is off to high school tomorrow and my little girl has become a young woman and will walk onto the same college campus her father and I attended many years ago to begin to find her way in this crazy world.

My how times flies when you're having fun!